I have only been in this business for about 2 1/2 years, so I certainly cannot say that I am a veteran by any means, but I do have some experience. "Health & Safety" issues were the concerns which gave me the most trepidation when I first considered doing this work. I cannot speak for all of the ladies in all situations, but for me, at least, it has been much less scary, and seems less dangerous than I might have originally imagined. The top three concerns (in order of importance, for me, at least): ~ PHYSICAL SAFETY ~ LEGAL ISSUES ~ STDS The last two issues--legal and disease--are perhaps almost a tie for 2nd place in my mind. They are both serious concerns (and rightly so), but certainly not as much as the issue of my physical well-being. I will discuss them a bit later on. PHYSICAL SAFETY: The first thing I did when I contemplated my "new career" as an escort was to contact someone who is very close to me and ask her if she would be my "security check-in," that is: Would she be willing to receive my texts with the information about where I was going and with whom I was spending time? She was and always has been resoundingly supportive of me in all areas of my life, and so it was no different in this case. I immediately felt much better about the prospect of this very new and and somewhat frightening enterprise, knowing that she would be "watching over me," so to speak. It certainly gave me a modicum of peace of mind. I believe that it is critical that someone play this role for an independent escort like myself. It could be a "cool relative," a good friend, or another provider (with whom one might trade the favor). But I think it's important--for so many obvious reasons--that someone knows where I am and with whom at all times. My "S.C."--"Security Check-in"--and I have it set up that I text her my proposed whereabouts (since I am almost exclusively an "Outcall only" escort) a few minutes before I leave for my appointment. If I know that it is going to be a long session (I don't always know ahead of time), I give her the approximate length. She texts me back that she has received the info. When I am finished with the appointment, I text her an "all clear" signal, and she then erases everything from her cell phone. We have agreed that if I do not contact her within some reasonable amount of time (such as 24 hrs.), then she starts to investigate. We want to allow for phone problems and other snafus so that she doesn't overreact. In the past 2 1/2 years, I have forgotten to send the "all clear" only one time--and she was ALL OVER MY CASE!!! So the system works well for us. I usually do the check-in only the first time I see a client; once I know they are legitimate and harmless, then I don't continue to send the info. if I see them again in the future. I will often tell a new client that "someone knows where I am," and that I have to check in with my S.C. at a certain point so that she knows I'm ok, etc. This also sends a clear signal that I take my personal safety very seriously, and the client is on notice that he should also. In all the time I've been doing this, I've only felt mildly unsafe with one aggressive client. I wrote about him in a previous blog entry. I've had worse "regular dates." Almost every client has been friendly, cooperative, respectful, and just really normal. This is a blessing, a surprise, and a HUGE relief! I realize that having my S.C. perform this function for me alleviates the need that some women might have for a pimp, a driver, or an agency. I am very fortunate to live and work in an upscale, relatively low-crime area, so I don't have the need for "protection" that women working in other environments might have. There are obviously many other issues involved with physical safety; I may write more on this topic in a future blog entry. I do see that every provider has to find her own way to make it as safe as possible for her to do this work. Our hourly rate obviously reflects the risks we take. On a lighter note, I sometimes describe myself as being "like a stunt woman...an erotic stunt woman!!!" :) LEGAL ISSUES: When I first contemplated placing an advertisement as an escort, I did a whopping four hours of research on the business and legal aspects of this work. I've already written about how I got the ideas for my post (which I have never altered in 2 1/2 years--except for my age--by the way) in my first entry, "I Love My Job." Of course, my clients are only paying for my time, and anything that happens within the appointment is between consenting adults, but some people might construe this as a form of prostitution. So I looked up the laws in my state, and it is considered a misdemeanor for "disorderly conduct." I told one friend about this law, and he said, "What?!! There's nothing DISORDERLY about it!!!" Certainly not the way I do it, which is to conduct myself just as any other businesswoman would. I have read in some of the escort forums that providers do get busted sometimes, and it would of course be a huge hassle if that were to happen to me. In my state, the penalties are not very severe, and I probably wouldn't do any jail time. Several of the women were merely ticketed and released after they were arrested. Many of them wrote about how they fought sometimes for years in court to have the charges dropped, and how they eventually won, but not until after a long struggle. Of course, I am whole-heartedly in favor of decriminalization of the whole field of sex work. That is probably a subject for a whole blog entry in itself. As far as protecting myself from any legal problems, I don't discuss any explicit subjects, and I make it very clear that the client is "paying for my time ONLY." I have read on the forums that some women are busted just for showing up at an appointment with money in their pockets and condoms on their person; this is obviously police harassment. I was told by an early client that there is very little prosecution in my area, and from what I've seen in 2 1/2 years, this seems to be true. I know that some kind of legal confrontation is always a possibility, however. I just hope that the police have better things to do! Sometimes a new client will tell me that he is afraid that I may be "L.E." (law enforcement.) I actually appreciate it when a newbie client is a bit paranoid, as it is very unlikely that he will be dangerous to me in any way. I had one client coming in from another state who started to have a panic attack on the plane before he arrived. He had already made the appointment with me, we had already talked on the phone, and we were set to meet that evening. Through his hyperventilation, he managed to blurt out: "How do I know YOU'RE not a cop?!! How do you know I'M not a cop?!!" I said: "Sweetheart--RELAX--we're just gonna HANG OUT!!!" Once he met me in person, he was ok, but I definitely had to "talk him down" there for awhile!!! SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES: Due to cultural stereotypes (aren't they almost always W-R-O-N-G?), I assumed that being in this line of work, wherein I have a lot of intimate contact with others, would lead me to almost certainly contract an STD at some point, if I stayed in the business long enough. I have to say that, based on my own experience, and the writings of the other women on the escort forums, this certainly may NOT be the case at all. For sure--there is greater risk for providers in this industry just due to the sheer numbers of partners alone--but I believe that if an escort is disciplined about her condom use and other safer-sex practices, she may be able to work for many years without having a problem. I also believe that women in this industry are more well-informed about STDs in general, because it is part of their job to educate themselves and make things as safe for themselves and their clients as possible (at least, ideally, this is the case). I think that many women get "talked out of" using a condom in regular dating because they're "in love with a guy," etc. Men can be very persuasive along these lines, even for a "condom Nazi" like me. More on this below. The most dangerous sexual practices, according to the San Francisco clinic ( http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/alink.pl?ab=http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp) are uncovered (that is, "without a condom") vaginal or anal intercourse. Although most sex workers state that they do not engage in unprotected intercourse with their clients, there is much debate on the forums between the providers about where they set their boundaries, and what they are willing and not willing to do with their clients physically, and at times the interchanges become rather heated. These are very personal issues, and--again--each sex worker must decide what works best for her. The two main incurable STDs are HIV and herpes II (genital herpes--"H2"), and I also found out recently that syphilis in advanced stages is perhaps also incurable, but this disease is relatively rare these days. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are both treatable; HIV is very rare in the area in which I live, so that leaves H2 as the remaining bugaboo that people are concerned about in my neighborhood. H2 is also of greater concern because it can occur on the body outside of a condom's protection, even though condoms do afford a good amount of protection from the disease. Up to 20% of the U.S. population tests positive for the H2 virus, and women seem to be more susceptible to it than men, perhaps becuase of the greater amount of mucous membrane in the genital area. I have become something of a "herpes expert," after having a couple of close calls with two different men who tested positive for the virus after I had been intimate with them. One was a non-client, "regular" guy I was dating, by whom I (VERY stupidly) got talked into having unprotected sex--NEVER AGAIN, BY THE WAY!!! The other was a regular client early on in my career with whom I had always used a condom, but who wanted to get a "package deal" with me for bareback (no condom) services in the future, and so we both got tested. Ooops--he had NO symptoms (very common with H2), but he tested dirty nonetheless. So I "cut him off"--figuratively speaking, of course--no reason to take any chances!!! Both of these men said: "I've had a vasectomy, I don't have any diseases, and I don't want to use a condom." If I EVER hear that from a man again, I'm going to conclude: "That's the HERPES TALKIN'!!!" Those little viruses really want to replicate themselves. And these guys wonder how they got infected in the first place! These are big subjects here, and there is much more to say on each of them, but I think that is enough for now. I remember a poster at Planned Parenthood many years ago (I will post it here if I can find it) of a cartoon man and a woman running towards each other with arms outstretched. It read: "LOVE CAREFULLY!!!" I think that slogan pretty much sums up my sentiment on the subject. | 
