Saturday, July 30, 2011
Disclosure
I believe that most of my wide circle of family and friends would be understanding and supportive of my current career choice as an escort, but it's still a bit of a "nail-biter" when I tell someone new. Almost without exception, all of the ones I have told have been happy for me that I have found something that works for me and--um--pays the bills!
I have many male friends, several of whom I have revealed my "secret occupation" to, and most of them smile, shake their heads, and often remark, "Yeah--I wish I could do that!" It certainly is one of the few jobs where being female is a huge benefit. I have heard that teaching and psychotherapy may have be the only other two!
Along those lines, I did have a very attractive client last year in his mid-50s who asked me to be his agent and help him find work as a gigolo. I placed an ad for him, with beautiful color photos, and posted it in the adult services section of two large metropolitan areas, reaching millions of people. After several months, we only got one call--from a woman who was too scared to even leave a message! The poor guy--I felt so sorry for him, and I'm sure it was a huge blow to his ego--but the truth is there's just no demand for men in this business. The exception to this is if the male escort is willing to see men, and even then the guy has to be young and in excellent shape, it would seem.
I think the reason for this discrepancy between the sexes--perhaps obviously--is that any woman, no matter what her age, physical attractiveness, or sex appeal, has SO MUCH sex thrown at her much of the time, that the idea of needing to "hire" a man for this service is just ludicrous. I have browsed through the listings of the ads of other escorts, and have been surprised by the wide range in age, weight, physical fitness, etc., but obviously these girls are getting work! I have decided--and many of my clients agree with me--that perhaps 50% of this job is personality: the ability to be warm, friendly, affectionate, and to put the client at ease. I may write more about this issue in a future blog entry.
Only about three of my female friends or family know about my job, and that is for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I don't want people to worry about my safety. I will definitely address this issue in a future entry, but I am happy to say that in the 18 months I have been in this business, I have never found myself in a truly scary situation. I am blessed to live in a rather upscale, progressive community, and I am certain that escorts in other areas have to deal with the "safety" issue much more than I ever will. I am very grateful for this fact, of course, but my women friends and relatives may envision more of the older stereotypes about this work: images of street-walkers, violent pimps, drug addiction, enslavement, abuse, etc., so I just spare them all of that anxiety.
I have read other escort blogs, many of whom are authored by women who have rather more mixed feelings about the kind of work they are doing. Several seem to be very isolated because of their inability to share their "secret life" with anyone else. I know that at least one uses her blog to share her experiences in an anonymous fashion, which she says helps somewhat, but she wrote that she still feels frustrated that she can't be more honest. (Call Girl Next Door). I have found my own blog to be a wonderful outlet for me in this regard.
So you may ask, "Why do you NEED to share this with others?" I realize that the answer to this is complex. Certainly, some of my friends and acquaintances ask what I'm doing for work these days, and I often tell them that I have a "Sugar Daddy". This is a great cover story, because in some ways it's true: I just have more than one, and I don't know all of their names yet!
There are evenings when I have just finished with a delightful client and am perhaps showing some "afterglow," and my friends notice and ask me how I'm doing. "Just great!," I answer. It is frustrating to not be able to disclose just how happy I am with this lifestyle of great money, often very good sex, and even friendships that develop with clients. It is difficult to hold it all in, because in general, I am a very open person. I have had to learn to keep most of this private, which is very challenging for me at times. And often I feel like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary!
The other obvious reasons for keeping all of this secret from many of the people in my life is that I fear their judgement of me, based on moral or religious grounds. Even though most of my friends and family are fairly open-minded, I just never know how they might react, even though I am certain that they would understand the financial necessity of a high-paying gig at this particular time in my life. I mentioned this to a client, and he said: "Well--if they don't understand and support you, then they're not really a very good friend!" That may well be true, but this new path in life is quite a departure from the mostly "good girl" image I have projected for all of my life, and I think it would come as quite a shock to some of my intimates.
There is also the issue of envy. Many of my friends are really struggling right now, as are so many others in this time of economic turn-down. I certainly make more money per hour and have to work much less than most of the people I know, and some have not been able to find a job for quite a long time. I have found one female friend who is open to trying this line of work, and of course I would like to "recruit" even more of my women friends (I have more "work" than I can handle, as I may have mentioned before), but it's not something I can just casually run by someone over coffee! I have definitely felt the envy from some of my male friends. Hey guys--sorry--but for once it's great to be a woman! And I'm "recession-proof"!!!
Last night I told an older male friend (so close, he's like family), about my new profession, and he was still smiling after I finished my sentence, and it's like: "Whew!" I figured that he would be supportive, and he was. But I never know. I'd say there was only one person who reacted negatively, and that was a guy I hooked up with very briefly last year. He said some things that made me think he'd be open-minded about my job, but as it turns out, his ex-girlfriend--whom he's still in love with--has gone into this profession herself. Ooops! Sorry, dude!!!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Fakes and Flakes
Some guys seem to have nothing better to do than to "f"-around with the escorts. I have tried to figure out why this is, and how on earth anyone would want to spend the time or waste the energy to do so. I have only experienced a true "fake" appointment a handful of times, but, of course, it is very frustrating and disappointing when it does happen.
The first time it happened may not have actually been a true "fake," just a guy who'd never called a woman like me before, and got cold feet or just changed his mind at the last minute. It was pretty lame the way he did it, though. He was one of my early clients, so of course it impacted me more than it would today. He was an older gentleman, and we talked several times by phone before we met (which is how I screen all of my potential clients, for the most part). He sounded like a really nice guy, and I was looking forward to a positive encounter.
Well, I arrived at his place at the appointed time, and he let me in and gave me a tour of the house, as some clients do. Then he sat down and proceeded to watch TV for about 20 minutes, and I sat nearby, waiting. At about that point, I asked him, "Are we going to retreat to the bedroom sometime soon?," and he said, "Oh--you're not what I expected. I'll have to pass." Ok--that's cool--but did he have to make me sit there for almost half an hour and not tell me what was up?!! I thought it was so ridiculous. It would also be courteous to give an escort something for showing up--even if the client changes his mind--since she held up her end of the bargain. One of my clients once told me that $50 is the customary tip if one declines her services. That seems about right to me, because often it is too late to get another appointment for that evening, I've dressed, driven quite a distance, etc., etc.
In this particular instance, I don't know what the guy's problem was. I generally arrive in regular street clothes, for everyone's sake. I don't know if he was expecting me to show up looking like a floozy, with high-heels and a trench coat and sexy lingerie underneath. That's just not my style, and most clients would not appreciate it. Many ask me to arrive in an unobtrusive manner. Also--I felt no sexual chemistry or energy with this guy whatsoever, so I was actually glad he declined my services; it would have been "hard work." As well: I may not be a beauty queen, but I'm attractive enough for the vast majority of my clients. This guy didn't even "see the goods," so maybe he just freaked out or something. If he thought I wasn't "hot" enough, I would just have to ask him, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Let's just say that he was no Romeo himself.
The real "fakes" are the ones who just mess around and pretend to be interested in making an appointment, but were never serious. I encountered a lot of this on Craigslist, when I used to post on their now-defunct adult services section. I really can't say anything good about CL, but that is an issue for another entry. Anyway, even though Backpage is a very similar type of free bulletin-board website, I find the clients to be much better. I could post a (very expensive) ad on CL, and get 70--yes, that's seven zero--responses by text or phone call within 24 hours, and almost none of them would ever work out. I know there's a problem when a potential client asks endless questions, or wants to see multiple photos, etc. It seems like many of these are younger guys who maybe one of their friends "dared" to call an escort, etc.
There are some clients who just have no respect for another person's time. They think it's ok to just "flake-out" without a cancellation call or any such courtesy. In the business, we call this "NC/NS": "No call/No show." Escorts get really low marks for being irresponsible, so I don't know why a client would expect otherwise. Many of the girls have blacklists, as I do, and I'm certain that some of them share this information with the other providers. Luckily, I haven't encountered too many NC/NS in my career, for which I am very grateful. Most clients are gentlemen, and realize that this is how I make my living, and so are polite about keeping appointments or cancelling them when necessary.
I think that some men have religious reasons for getting "an escort off the street that night." Thus, they will make a fake appointment, and refuse her at the door with only a second's glance at her, with the now infamous: "You're not what I expected; I'm afraid I'll have to pass." It's bizarre how they almost always say exactly the same thing when they're pulling this crap. And--thankfully--it's never happened after I've taken off my clothes. I always collect my donation before I undress (usually down to bra and panty), and, well, I have a fairly hot figure, so there's pretty much no way they could say that I'm "not good enough" at that point. I have received texts from religious zealots trying to "save my soul," and get me to "change my ways," etc. I will go back and forth with them for a little while, stating that my soul is just fine, and that I am very happy in my chosen lifestyle. Then I usually finish them off by texting: "I prayed to God for a new career path, and this is what came to me." That usually shuts them up. ;)
There seem to be some people who just want to hurt and humiliate an escort by making a fake date to see her, and then refusing her once she shows up. Two of the most egregious examples come to mind. One guy almost fooled me twice! They get through my screening process by being friendly and talkative on the phone; if someone is going to go to that much trouble to suck me into his little "scam," then there's not much I can do about it. This man in his thirties had me meet him outside his place, and come all the way into his home, then turned on the light, and said, "Naw...I'm not attracted to you. I'll have to pass." It was obviously just a game for him. Months later, he responded to my ad again, and I was just about to fall for it when he gave me his address, and mentioned that he liked "nude-colored pantyhose." That rang a bell for me, and I realized who it was. I texted him that we already had met, and that he had declined, and I believe he texted me back with a little happy face and perhaps the words "Ha ha!" What a great guy!
One of the worst was a guy who seemed to give me even a fake address in which to meet him. We were texting right up until the last minute, and then he just stopped. I went up to the door of his supposed home, and it was all dark inside. So I gave up and left. Then he texted me the next day and gave me some cock-and-bull story about his sister showing up unexpectedly, and that he was going to take her to the airport that night and then would make it all up to me then. So I waited a second night outside the same address, and he called and texted that he was on his way, and then--nothing!!! I was furious, as you might imagine. And yes, I do usually text back and tell them off.
I think the worst one happened last year on Christmas Eve. The potential client and I were chatting on the phone before our appointment, and we were commiserating with each other over the fact that we wouldn't be seeing our respective significant others over the holidays. So, as is often the case, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world. I drove my usual 30-minute commute to his home, but this time it was out in a rural area, and so there was almost no hope of getting another client if something went wrong. I wasn't worried, however; I felt quite confident about this guy. Well, I was very wrong to feel that way. I got to the door, he looked me up and down for about 2 seconds, and then the customary response (need I write it again?!!). Ok--that one really hurt. I was actually bummed-out about an absent love interest, and it was freakin' Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!! I don't think anyone can get much lower or colder than that. So I bolstered myself up a bit, drove a very long way back into town, and ended up making-out with my favorite bartender after hours.
I really do believe there may be an element of jealousy and revenge in this type of behavior. As I said, it is rare--most of my clients are wonderfully generous, polite, and kind individuals--so this type of incident is rather shocking by contrast. I may have written in a previous entry that I get payed $200 an hour for what a lot of these guys cannot give away for free. So I think there's some deep resentment there, and so a vindictive quality to this kind of "con game." All I would say is that in most places in the world, and in most times in history (at least for the past 5-10k years, anyway), it has been a HUGE disadvantage to be a female human being on this planet. In other words, to all you mean, game-playing, hurtful "fake clients" out there: Please get a life. Please find something better to do than to rip-off a nice woman who only wants to give you pleasure and get paid in return. This is really bad karma you're creating. Someday, you may be old and ugly and smell funny, and you won't be able to get anyone to come out and "service" you, no matter how much you pay. You've been warned!!!
The first time it happened may not have actually been a true "fake," just a guy who'd never called a woman like me before, and got cold feet or just changed his mind at the last minute. It was pretty lame the way he did it, though. He was one of my early clients, so of course it impacted me more than it would today. He was an older gentleman, and we talked several times by phone before we met (which is how I screen all of my potential clients, for the most part). He sounded like a really nice guy, and I was looking forward to a positive encounter.
Well, I arrived at his place at the appointed time, and he let me in and gave me a tour of the house, as some clients do. Then he sat down and proceeded to watch TV for about 20 minutes, and I sat nearby, waiting. At about that point, I asked him, "Are we going to retreat to the bedroom sometime soon?," and he said, "Oh--you're not what I expected. I'll have to pass." Ok--that's cool--but did he have to make me sit there for almost half an hour and not tell me what was up?!! I thought it was so ridiculous. It would also be courteous to give an escort something for showing up--even if the client changes his mind--since she held up her end of the bargain. One of my clients once told me that $50 is the customary tip if one declines her services. That seems about right to me, because often it is too late to get another appointment for that evening, I've dressed, driven quite a distance, etc., etc.
In this particular instance, I don't know what the guy's problem was. I generally arrive in regular street clothes, for everyone's sake. I don't know if he was expecting me to show up looking like a floozy, with high-heels and a trench coat and sexy lingerie underneath. That's just not my style, and most clients would not appreciate it. Many ask me to arrive in an unobtrusive manner. Also--I felt no sexual chemistry or energy with this guy whatsoever, so I was actually glad he declined my services; it would have been "hard work." As well: I may not be a beauty queen, but I'm attractive enough for the vast majority of my clients. This guy didn't even "see the goods," so maybe he just freaked out or something. If he thought I wasn't "hot" enough, I would just have to ask him, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Let's just say that he was no Romeo himself.
The real "fakes" are the ones who just mess around and pretend to be interested in making an appointment, but were never serious. I encountered a lot of this on Craigslist, when I used to post on their now-defunct adult services section. I really can't say anything good about CL, but that is an issue for another entry. Anyway, even though Backpage is a very similar type of free bulletin-board website, I find the clients to be much better. I could post a (very expensive) ad on CL, and get 70--yes, that's seven zero--responses by text or phone call within 24 hours, and almost none of them would ever work out. I know there's a problem when a potential client asks endless questions, or wants to see multiple photos, etc. It seems like many of these are younger guys who maybe one of their friends "dared" to call an escort, etc.
There are some clients who just have no respect for another person's time. They think it's ok to just "flake-out" without a cancellation call or any such courtesy. In the business, we call this "NC/NS": "No call/No show." Escorts get really low marks for being irresponsible, so I don't know why a client would expect otherwise. Many of the girls have blacklists, as I do, and I'm certain that some of them share this information with the other providers. Luckily, I haven't encountered too many NC/NS in my career, for which I am very grateful. Most clients are gentlemen, and realize that this is how I make my living, and so are polite about keeping appointments or cancelling them when necessary.
I think that some men have religious reasons for getting "an escort off the street that night." Thus, they will make a fake appointment, and refuse her at the door with only a second's glance at her, with the now infamous: "You're not what I expected; I'm afraid I'll have to pass." It's bizarre how they almost always say exactly the same thing when they're pulling this crap. And--thankfully--it's never happened after I've taken off my clothes. I always collect my donation before I undress (usually down to bra and panty), and, well, I have a fairly hot figure, so there's pretty much no way they could say that I'm "not good enough" at that point. I have received texts from religious zealots trying to "save my soul," and get me to "change my ways," etc. I will go back and forth with them for a little while, stating that my soul is just fine, and that I am very happy in my chosen lifestyle. Then I usually finish them off by texting: "I prayed to God for a new career path, and this is what came to me." That usually shuts them up. ;)
There seem to be some people who just want to hurt and humiliate an escort by making a fake date to see her, and then refusing her once she shows up. Two of the most egregious examples come to mind. One guy almost fooled me twice! They get through my screening process by being friendly and talkative on the phone; if someone is going to go to that much trouble to suck me into his little "scam," then there's not much I can do about it. This man in his thirties had me meet him outside his place, and come all the way into his home, then turned on the light, and said, "Naw...I'm not attracted to you. I'll have to pass." It was obviously just a game for him. Months later, he responded to my ad again, and I was just about to fall for it when he gave me his address, and mentioned that he liked "nude-colored pantyhose." That rang a bell for me, and I realized who it was. I texted him that we already had met, and that he had declined, and I believe he texted me back with a little happy face and perhaps the words "Ha ha!" What a great guy!
One of the worst was a guy who seemed to give me even a fake address in which to meet him. We were texting right up until the last minute, and then he just stopped. I went up to the door of his supposed home, and it was all dark inside. So I gave up and left. Then he texted me the next day and gave me some cock-and-bull story about his sister showing up unexpectedly, and that he was going to take her to the airport that night and then would make it all up to me then. So I waited a second night outside the same address, and he called and texted that he was on his way, and then--nothing!!! I was furious, as you might imagine. And yes, I do usually text back and tell them off.
I think the worst one happened last year on Christmas Eve. The potential client and I were chatting on the phone before our appointment, and we were commiserating with each other over the fact that we wouldn't be seeing our respective significant others over the holidays. So, as is often the case, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world. I drove my usual 30-minute commute to his home, but this time it was out in a rural area, and so there was almost no hope of getting another client if something went wrong. I wasn't worried, however; I felt quite confident about this guy. Well, I was very wrong to feel that way. I got to the door, he looked me up and down for about 2 seconds, and then the customary response (need I write it again?!!). Ok--that one really hurt. I was actually bummed-out about an absent love interest, and it was freakin' Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!! I don't think anyone can get much lower or colder than that. So I bolstered myself up a bit, drove a very long way back into town, and ended up making-out with my favorite bartender after hours.
I really do believe there may be an element of jealousy and revenge in this type of behavior. As I said, it is rare--most of my clients are wonderfully generous, polite, and kind individuals--so this type of incident is rather shocking by contrast. I may have written in a previous entry that I get payed $200 an hour for what a lot of these guys cannot give away for free. So I think there's some deep resentment there, and so a vindictive quality to this kind of "con game." All I would say is that in most places in the world, and in most times in history (at least for the past 5-10k years, anyway), it has been a HUGE disadvantage to be a female human being on this planet. In other words, to all you mean, game-playing, hurtful "fake clients" out there: Please get a life. Please find something better to do than to rip-off a nice woman who only wants to give you pleasure and get paid in return. This is really bad karma you're creating. Someday, you may be old and ugly and smell funny, and you won't be able to get anyone to come out and "service" you, no matter how much you pay. You've been warned!!!
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