I touched briefly in my first blog entry on how I have found this work to have an unexpected healing dimension to it, and I am not the only one who feels that way. Several of my clients have used this word, and have expressed how their encounters with me have served to improve their lives on many levels, beyond the obvious sexual pleasure of the moment. And the benefits to my own life keep revealing themselves in new and surprising ways, as well.
As stated previously, my clients hire me for a myriad of reasons. I am guessing that approximately 50% of them are married or involved in a serious relationship, and for some reason feel that they need an encounter beyond the confines of that bond. Some travel extensively for a living, and do not have the time or energy to devote to a girlfriend. Some are "between relationships," and just want some intimate companionship without any strings attached.
I have needed to open my mind a great deal regarding the "cheating" element of this job, because it is definitely a big part of it. In my normal dating life, I never would knowingly date a married man or someone who was in a committed relationship, because I wanted to be taken seriously, and not just regarded as a "plaything" or "naughty diversion." I figured that if a guy wanted to get involved with me, he needed to cut ties with anyone else before embarking on that. Also, if he had children in his marriage, I felt that I would be cheating on them, too, as well as his wife. I think in all my adult life, only two guys I dated briefly got away with lying to me about being married.
This issue of having married men as clients was probably one of the biggest moral dilemmas I faced in taking on this work. Some men share with me what's going on in their marriages, and why they feel the need to enlist my services, and some talk very openly about their wives, as if they were just speaking to me as a friend. I am still not very happy about this aspect of the job, but I have gained some peace about it. I don't know if it will sound like a "cop-out," but I have come to accept the notion that if they don't hire me, they will hire someone else, and the cheating will happen anyway. On top of that--and what makes me feel the best about my position, perhaps--is that I am the "Anonymous Woman"--and far better for them to have a dalliance with me than to get involved with an affair or to take on a real mistress.
Several of my clients--both older and younger than me--are in basically sexless marriages, and yet they want to stay with their wives for various reasons. Having a very strong libido myself, they have garnered some sympathy on my part, in that if my husband (if I were happily married) decided he didn't want to have sex anymore, that would be really tough for me. I think it's incredibly unfair and even cruel for a spouse to say to a partner: "Well--I don't want to or can't have sex with you anymore, so that means your sex life is over, too..." I think this is just impractical and unreasonable, on both emotional and physical levels. Certainly after my experiences as an escort, if I were in a devoted relationship, and suddenly lost my drive or interest in physical lovemaking, I would encourage my partner to find someone to fulfill his needs; heck--I'd probably even help him look!
When a spouse cuts a partner off sexually, it makes me think of an analogy: So my tennis partner moves away, does that mean I can never play tennis again? Hell no!!! And sex is a lot more important than tennis! An older client was just telling me how his doctor told him one of my favorite lines: "USE IT OR LOSE IT!!!" Because my client's wife won't have sex with him, the doctor suggests that he masturbate 3 times per week. I am seeing more and more evidence in mainstream media and on-line that regular sexual release, whether with a partner or alone, is beginning to be thought of as a normal part of a healthy lifestyle and physical regimen.
What is so encouraging, especially in this client's case, is that he reports to me that our occasional encounters are actually helping his marriage!!! Perhaps because he feels less frustrated, and therefore less resentful towards his wife, he and she are getting along better these days. He even told me recently that he has hope that the physical intimacy may return to his marriage someday, and that he felt sorry if he couldn't see me any anymore. Hey--no problem! How heartening is it to feel that I could help in such an intractable situation as this? Healing comes in many forms. If he has to let me go, I will just smile and say: "My work here is done!!!"
Several clients have hired me, after long periods without a sex partner, just to make sure that "everything still works." I am glad to say that in most of these cases, the answer was a resounding "Yes!" Some of my older clients have issues with their physical functioning, so in some regards, I do act as a sort of amateur sex therapist. And of course, a number of my clients complain of stress or anxiety, due to a heavy work load or other stressors in their lives. After a good session with me, they often drift off to sleep. When they wake up, I tell them (with a mischeivious grin), "You see, I'm not really an escort--I'm a sleep therapist!
The benefits to my own health and well-being, both physical and emotional, are numerous as well. I do have very good sex with several of my regular clients, and even with some of the random, "one-timers," too. After many years of being in my sexual peak and with no regular partner, this is...um...gratifying! I develop friendships with some of my clients, and we do become a part of each others' routine lives. I very much enjoy the variety of the men I meet, and appreciate the conversations we share and the many different points of view I encounter. Several have helped me out in various ways in my "normal" life. Most are very nice people--gentlemen, to be sure--and I feel blessed to find myself in such a unique position in my life at this time, with so much positive feedback and warm regard coming my way.
This work has also been quite a boost to my self-esteem, which is very much a surprise to me. I will write more on this topic in a future blog entry, but I have to say that, given the stereotypes and cultural attitudes I grew up with regarding this profession, this wonderful side-effect of a positive attitude and emotional lift has been the biggest shock to me, albeit a happy one. I think most women in Western culture question their desirability and their sex appeal. The fact that I receive so much praise and appreciation from my clients regarding my looks and my talents in bed has just been profoundly healing for me, and has increased my confidence level in many other areas of my life. This work came to me at a time when I had basically "given up" on relationships, and was just resigned to this job which might actually damage my self-concept, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I have many more relationships (although somewhat limited in nature, by necessity), and now feel like a "Sex Goddess" at middle age! I still sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Disclosure
I believe that most of my wide circle of family and friends would be understanding and supportive of my current career choice as an escort, but it's still a bit of a "nail-biter" when I tell someone new. Almost without exception, all of the ones I have told have been happy for me that I have found something that works for me and--um--pays the bills!
I have many male friends, several of whom I have revealed my "secret occupation" to, and most of them smile, shake their heads, and often remark, "Yeah--I wish I could do that!" It certainly is one of the few jobs where being female is a huge benefit. I have heard that teaching and psychotherapy may have be the only other two!
Along those lines, I did have a very attractive client last year in his mid-50s who asked me to be his agent and help him find work as a gigolo. I placed an ad for him, with beautiful color photos, and posted it in the adult services section of two large metropolitan areas, reaching millions of people. After several months, we only got one call--from a woman who was too scared to even leave a message! The poor guy--I felt so sorry for him, and I'm sure it was a huge blow to his ego--but the truth is there's just no demand for men in this business. The exception to this is if the male escort is willing to see men, and even then the guy has to be young and in excellent shape, it would seem.
I think the reason for this discrepancy between the sexes--perhaps obviously--is that any woman, no matter what her age, physical attractiveness, or sex appeal, has SO MUCH sex thrown at her much of the time, that the idea of needing to "hire" a man for this service is just ludicrous. I have browsed through the listings of the ads of other escorts, and have been surprised by the wide range in age, weight, physical fitness, etc., but obviously these girls are getting work! I have decided--and many of my clients agree with me--that perhaps 50% of this job is personality: the ability to be warm, friendly, affectionate, and to put the client at ease. I may write more about this issue in a future blog entry.
Only about three of my female friends or family know about my job, and that is for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I don't want people to worry about my safety. I will definitely address this issue in a future entry, but I am happy to say that in the 18 months I have been in this business, I have never found myself in a truly scary situation. I am blessed to live in a rather upscale, progressive community, and I am certain that escorts in other areas have to deal with the "safety" issue much more than I ever will. I am very grateful for this fact, of course, but my women friends and relatives may envision more of the older stereotypes about this work: images of street-walkers, violent pimps, drug addiction, enslavement, abuse, etc., so I just spare them all of that anxiety.
I have read other escort blogs, many of whom are authored by women who have rather more mixed feelings about the kind of work they are doing. Several seem to be very isolated because of their inability to share their "secret life" with anyone else. I know that at least one uses her blog to share her experiences in an anonymous fashion, which she says helps somewhat, but she wrote that she still feels frustrated that she can't be more honest. (Call Girl Next Door). I have found my own blog to be a wonderful outlet for me in this regard.
So you may ask, "Why do you NEED to share this with others?" I realize that the answer to this is complex. Certainly, some of my friends and acquaintances ask what I'm doing for work these days, and I often tell them that I have a "Sugar Daddy". This is a great cover story, because in some ways it's true: I just have more than one, and I don't know all of their names yet!
There are evenings when I have just finished with a delightful client and am perhaps showing some "afterglow," and my friends notice and ask me how I'm doing. "Just great!," I answer. It is frustrating to not be able to disclose just how happy I am with this lifestyle of great money, often very good sex, and even friendships that develop with clients. It is difficult to hold it all in, because in general, I am a very open person. I have had to learn to keep most of this private, which is very challenging for me at times. And often I feel like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary!
The other obvious reasons for keeping all of this secret from many of the people in my life is that I fear their judgement of me, based on moral or religious grounds. Even though most of my friends and family are fairly open-minded, I just never know how they might react, even though I am certain that they would understand the financial necessity of a high-paying gig at this particular time in my life. I mentioned this to a client, and he said: "Well--if they don't understand and support you, then they're not really a very good friend!" That may well be true, but this new path in life is quite a departure from the mostly "good girl" image I have projected for all of my life, and I think it would come as quite a shock to some of my intimates.
There is also the issue of envy. Many of my friends are really struggling right now, as are so many others in this time of economic turn-down. I certainly make more money per hour and have to work much less than most of the people I know, and some have not been able to find a job for quite a long time. I have found one female friend who is open to trying this line of work, and of course I would like to "recruit" even more of my women friends (I have more "work" than I can handle, as I may have mentioned before), but it's not something I can just casually run by someone over coffee! I have definitely felt the envy from some of my male friends. Hey guys--sorry--but for once it's great to be a woman! And I'm "recession-proof"!!!
Last night I told an older male friend (so close, he's like family), about my new profession, and he was still smiling after I finished my sentence, and it's like: "Whew!" I figured that he would be supportive, and he was. But I never know. I'd say there was only one person who reacted negatively, and that was a guy I hooked up with very briefly last year. He said some things that made me think he'd be open-minded about my job, but as it turns out, his ex-girlfriend--whom he's still in love with--has gone into this profession herself. Ooops! Sorry, dude!!!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Fakes and Flakes
Some guys seem to have nothing better to do than to "f"-around with the escorts. I have tried to figure out why this is, and how on earth anyone would want to spend the time or waste the energy to do so. I have only experienced a true "fake" appointment a handful of times, but, of course, it is very frustrating and disappointing when it does happen.
The first time it happened may not have actually been a true "fake," just a guy who'd never called a woman like me before, and got cold feet or just changed his mind at the last minute. It was pretty lame the way he did it, though. He was one of my early clients, so of course it impacted me more than it would today. He was an older gentleman, and we talked several times by phone before we met (which is how I screen all of my potential clients, for the most part). He sounded like a really nice guy, and I was looking forward to a positive encounter.
Well, I arrived at his place at the appointed time, and he let me in and gave me a tour of the house, as some clients do. Then he sat down and proceeded to watch TV for about 20 minutes, and I sat nearby, waiting. At about that point, I asked him, "Are we going to retreat to the bedroom sometime soon?," and he said, "Oh--you're not what I expected. I'll have to pass." Ok--that's cool--but did he have to make me sit there for almost half an hour and not tell me what was up?!! I thought it was so ridiculous. It would also be courteous to give an escort something for showing up--even if the client changes his mind--since she held up her end of the bargain. One of my clients once told me that $50 is the customary tip if one declines her services. That seems about right to me, because often it is too late to get another appointment for that evening, I've dressed, driven quite a distance, etc., etc.
In this particular instance, I don't know what the guy's problem was. I generally arrive in regular street clothes, for everyone's sake. I don't know if he was expecting me to show up looking like a floozy, with high-heels and a trench coat and sexy lingerie underneath. That's just not my style, and most clients would not appreciate it. Many ask me to arrive in an unobtrusive manner. Also--I felt no sexual chemistry or energy with this guy whatsoever, so I was actually glad he declined my services; it would have been "hard work." As well: I may not be a beauty queen, but I'm attractive enough for the vast majority of my clients. This guy didn't even "see the goods," so maybe he just freaked out or something. If he thought I wasn't "hot" enough, I would just have to ask him, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Let's just say that he was no Romeo himself.
The real "fakes" are the ones who just mess around and pretend to be interested in making an appointment, but were never serious. I encountered a lot of this on Craigslist, when I used to post on their now-defunct adult services section. I really can't say anything good about CL, but that is an issue for another entry. Anyway, even though Backpage is a very similar type of free bulletin-board website, I find the clients to be much better. I could post a (very expensive) ad on CL, and get 70--yes, that's seven zero--responses by text or phone call within 24 hours, and almost none of them would ever work out. I know there's a problem when a potential client asks endless questions, or wants to see multiple photos, etc. It seems like many of these are younger guys who maybe one of their friends "dared" to call an escort, etc.
There are some clients who just have no respect for another person's time. They think it's ok to just "flake-out" without a cancellation call or any such courtesy. In the business, we call this "NC/NS": "No call/No show." Escorts get really low marks for being irresponsible, so I don't know why a client would expect otherwise. Many of the girls have blacklists, as I do, and I'm certain that some of them share this information with the other providers. Luckily, I haven't encountered too many NC/NS in my career, for which I am very grateful. Most clients are gentlemen, and realize that this is how I make my living, and so are polite about keeping appointments or cancelling them when necessary.
I think that some men have religious reasons for getting "an escort off the street that night." Thus, they will make a fake appointment, and refuse her at the door with only a second's glance at her, with the now infamous: "You're not what I expected; I'm afraid I'll have to pass." It's bizarre how they almost always say exactly the same thing when they're pulling this crap. And--thankfully--it's never happened after I've taken off my clothes. I always collect my donation before I undress (usually down to bra and panty), and, well, I have a fairly hot figure, so there's pretty much no way they could say that I'm "not good enough" at that point. I have received texts from religious zealots trying to "save my soul," and get me to "change my ways," etc. I will go back and forth with them for a little while, stating that my soul is just fine, and that I am very happy in my chosen lifestyle. Then I usually finish them off by texting: "I prayed to God for a new career path, and this is what came to me." That usually shuts them up. ;)
There seem to be some people who just want to hurt and humiliate an escort by making a fake date to see her, and then refusing her once she shows up. Two of the most egregious examples come to mind. One guy almost fooled me twice! They get through my screening process by being friendly and talkative on the phone; if someone is going to go to that much trouble to suck me into his little "scam," then there's not much I can do about it. This man in his thirties had me meet him outside his place, and come all the way into his home, then turned on the light, and said, "Naw...I'm not attracted to you. I'll have to pass." It was obviously just a game for him. Months later, he responded to my ad again, and I was just about to fall for it when he gave me his address, and mentioned that he liked "nude-colored pantyhose." That rang a bell for me, and I realized who it was. I texted him that we already had met, and that he had declined, and I believe he texted me back with a little happy face and perhaps the words "Ha ha!" What a great guy!
One of the worst was a guy who seemed to give me even a fake address in which to meet him. We were texting right up until the last minute, and then he just stopped. I went up to the door of his supposed home, and it was all dark inside. So I gave up and left. Then he texted me the next day and gave me some cock-and-bull story about his sister showing up unexpectedly, and that he was going to take her to the airport that night and then would make it all up to me then. So I waited a second night outside the same address, and he called and texted that he was on his way, and then--nothing!!! I was furious, as you might imagine. And yes, I do usually text back and tell them off.
I think the worst one happened last year on Christmas Eve. The potential client and I were chatting on the phone before our appointment, and we were commiserating with each other over the fact that we wouldn't be seeing our respective significant others over the holidays. So, as is often the case, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world. I drove my usual 30-minute commute to his home, but this time it was out in a rural area, and so there was almost no hope of getting another client if something went wrong. I wasn't worried, however; I felt quite confident about this guy. Well, I was very wrong to feel that way. I got to the door, he looked me up and down for about 2 seconds, and then the customary response (need I write it again?!!). Ok--that one really hurt. I was actually bummed-out about an absent love interest, and it was freakin' Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!! I don't think anyone can get much lower or colder than that. So I bolstered myself up a bit, drove a very long way back into town, and ended up making-out with my favorite bartender after hours.
I really do believe there may be an element of jealousy and revenge in this type of behavior. As I said, it is rare--most of my clients are wonderfully generous, polite, and kind individuals--so this type of incident is rather shocking by contrast. I may have written in a previous entry that I get payed $200 an hour for what a lot of these guys cannot give away for free. So I think there's some deep resentment there, and so a vindictive quality to this kind of "con game." All I would say is that in most places in the world, and in most times in history (at least for the past 5-10k years, anyway), it has been a HUGE disadvantage to be a female human being on this planet. In other words, to all you mean, game-playing, hurtful "fake clients" out there: Please get a life. Please find something better to do than to rip-off a nice woman who only wants to give you pleasure and get paid in return. This is really bad karma you're creating. Someday, you may be old and ugly and smell funny, and you won't be able to get anyone to come out and "service" you, no matter how much you pay. You've been warned!!!
The first time it happened may not have actually been a true "fake," just a guy who'd never called a woman like me before, and got cold feet or just changed his mind at the last minute. It was pretty lame the way he did it, though. He was one of my early clients, so of course it impacted me more than it would today. He was an older gentleman, and we talked several times by phone before we met (which is how I screen all of my potential clients, for the most part). He sounded like a really nice guy, and I was looking forward to a positive encounter.
Well, I arrived at his place at the appointed time, and he let me in and gave me a tour of the house, as some clients do. Then he sat down and proceeded to watch TV for about 20 minutes, and I sat nearby, waiting. At about that point, I asked him, "Are we going to retreat to the bedroom sometime soon?," and he said, "Oh--you're not what I expected. I'll have to pass." Ok--that's cool--but did he have to make me sit there for almost half an hour and not tell me what was up?!! I thought it was so ridiculous. It would also be courteous to give an escort something for showing up--even if the client changes his mind--since she held up her end of the bargain. One of my clients once told me that $50 is the customary tip if one declines her services. That seems about right to me, because often it is too late to get another appointment for that evening, I've dressed, driven quite a distance, etc., etc.
In this particular instance, I don't know what the guy's problem was. I generally arrive in regular street clothes, for everyone's sake. I don't know if he was expecting me to show up looking like a floozy, with high-heels and a trench coat and sexy lingerie underneath. That's just not my style, and most clients would not appreciate it. Many ask me to arrive in an unobtrusive manner. Also--I felt no sexual chemistry or energy with this guy whatsoever, so I was actually glad he declined my services; it would have been "hard work." As well: I may not be a beauty queen, but I'm attractive enough for the vast majority of my clients. This guy didn't even "see the goods," so maybe he just freaked out or something. If he thought I wasn't "hot" enough, I would just have to ask him, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Let's just say that he was no Romeo himself.
The real "fakes" are the ones who just mess around and pretend to be interested in making an appointment, but were never serious. I encountered a lot of this on Craigslist, when I used to post on their now-defunct adult services section. I really can't say anything good about CL, but that is an issue for another entry. Anyway, even though Backpage is a very similar type of free bulletin-board website, I find the clients to be much better. I could post a (very expensive) ad on CL, and get 70--yes, that's seven zero--responses by text or phone call within 24 hours, and almost none of them would ever work out. I know there's a problem when a potential client asks endless questions, or wants to see multiple photos, etc. It seems like many of these are younger guys who maybe one of their friends "dared" to call an escort, etc.
There are some clients who just have no respect for another person's time. They think it's ok to just "flake-out" without a cancellation call or any such courtesy. In the business, we call this "NC/NS": "No call/No show." Escorts get really low marks for being irresponsible, so I don't know why a client would expect otherwise. Many of the girls have blacklists, as I do, and I'm certain that some of them share this information with the other providers. Luckily, I haven't encountered too many NC/NS in my career, for which I am very grateful. Most clients are gentlemen, and realize that this is how I make my living, and so are polite about keeping appointments or cancelling them when necessary.
I think that some men have religious reasons for getting "an escort off the street that night." Thus, they will make a fake appointment, and refuse her at the door with only a second's glance at her, with the now infamous: "You're not what I expected; I'm afraid I'll have to pass." It's bizarre how they almost always say exactly the same thing when they're pulling this crap. And--thankfully--it's never happened after I've taken off my clothes. I always collect my donation before I undress (usually down to bra and panty), and, well, I have a fairly hot figure, so there's pretty much no way they could say that I'm "not good enough" at that point. I have received texts from religious zealots trying to "save my soul," and get me to "change my ways," etc. I will go back and forth with them for a little while, stating that my soul is just fine, and that I am very happy in my chosen lifestyle. Then I usually finish them off by texting: "I prayed to God for a new career path, and this is what came to me." That usually shuts them up. ;)
There seem to be some people who just want to hurt and humiliate an escort by making a fake date to see her, and then refusing her once she shows up. Two of the most egregious examples come to mind. One guy almost fooled me twice! They get through my screening process by being friendly and talkative on the phone; if someone is going to go to that much trouble to suck me into his little "scam," then there's not much I can do about it. This man in his thirties had me meet him outside his place, and come all the way into his home, then turned on the light, and said, "Naw...I'm not attracted to you. I'll have to pass." It was obviously just a game for him. Months later, he responded to my ad again, and I was just about to fall for it when he gave me his address, and mentioned that he liked "nude-colored pantyhose." That rang a bell for me, and I realized who it was. I texted him that we already had met, and that he had declined, and I believe he texted me back with a little happy face and perhaps the words "Ha ha!" What a great guy!
One of the worst was a guy who seemed to give me even a fake address in which to meet him. We were texting right up until the last minute, and then he just stopped. I went up to the door of his supposed home, and it was all dark inside. So I gave up and left. Then he texted me the next day and gave me some cock-and-bull story about his sister showing up unexpectedly, and that he was going to take her to the airport that night and then would make it all up to me then. So I waited a second night outside the same address, and he called and texted that he was on his way, and then--nothing!!! I was furious, as you might imagine. And yes, I do usually text back and tell them off.
I think the worst one happened last year on Christmas Eve. The potential client and I were chatting on the phone before our appointment, and we were commiserating with each other over the fact that we wouldn't be seeing our respective significant others over the holidays. So, as is often the case, he seemed like the nicest guy in the world. I drove my usual 30-minute commute to his home, but this time it was out in a rural area, and so there was almost no hope of getting another client if something went wrong. I wasn't worried, however; I felt quite confident about this guy. Well, I was very wrong to feel that way. I got to the door, he looked me up and down for about 2 seconds, and then the customary response (need I write it again?!!). Ok--that one really hurt. I was actually bummed-out about an absent love interest, and it was freakin' Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!! I don't think anyone can get much lower or colder than that. So I bolstered myself up a bit, drove a very long way back into town, and ended up making-out with my favorite bartender after hours.
I really do believe there may be an element of jealousy and revenge in this type of behavior. As I said, it is rare--most of my clients are wonderfully generous, polite, and kind individuals--so this type of incident is rather shocking by contrast. I may have written in a previous entry that I get payed $200 an hour for what a lot of these guys cannot give away for free. So I think there's some deep resentment there, and so a vindictive quality to this kind of "con game." All I would say is that in most places in the world, and in most times in history (at least for the past 5-10k years, anyway), it has been a HUGE disadvantage to be a female human being on this planet. In other words, to all you mean, game-playing, hurtful "fake clients" out there: Please get a life. Please find something better to do than to rip-off a nice woman who only wants to give you pleasure and get paid in return. This is really bad karma you're creating. Someday, you may be old and ugly and smell funny, and you won't be able to get anyone to come out and "service" you, no matter how much you pay. You've been warned!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Professional Lover from a Past Life
I have always been subtly attracted to the concepts of "courtesan" and "geisha" (see Wikipedia for good descriptions of these terms.) The professional psychic I consult says that I have definitely had past lives in my current profession. Perhaps that is why it feels so familiar and comfortable--a literal "hand-in-glove" fit. I have seen visions--were they past-life memories (?)--of myself from time to time over the years in a little French cottage in the woods, waiting for the wealthy man who was my lover to come and visit me. These images have come to me throughout my life--well before I ever considered engaging in this type of work. I've always felt like: "Yes--I could see myself living that way, and I would be happy in that lifestyle."
I also resonate with the term "sacred" or "temple" prostitute--even--although these are the very dismissive, biblical terms for "priestesses of the Goddess"--followers of the great religion of female divinity which spanned much of the globe long before the followers of male gods took over in pre-biblical times. Some of the ancient "fertility goddess" figurines may date back as far as 25,000 years, and, were mostly seen as charms for reproductive purposes by early male archeologists, instead of icons of the sacred Mother Goddess. The "Venus of Willendorf" statuette is a prime example. The book When God Was a Woman, by Merlin Stone, covers this topic in great detail. She posits the very likely theory that the male-god religions went to great lengths to invalidate and even demonize the earlier, female-worshiping religion, and so also the ritual sexual practices of its followers, by extension.
Stone writes in her book how the male-oriented, Indo-European invasions of much of the civilized world in pre-biblical times led to the diminution of woman's' role and status in society. Before this time, many of these societies were matrilineal--that is, property and social standing were passed down through the mother's side of the family. Because these more aggressive, male-dominated invaders saw God as male, women became mere chattel, which is still the case in many parts of the world today.
The priestesses of the Goddess were the avenue of worship for male followers of the temple of the female divinity. By performing sacred, sexual rites with one of these women, the devotee was in effect performing a highly devout ritual form of worship, in which he united with the Great Goddess. The wonderful book The Mists of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley, beautifully illustrates this practice. This long novel is primarily a re-telling of the King Arthur story from the women characters' points of view, but it also dramatically tells of the clash of the ancient, Great Religion of the Goddess, and the new religion of Christianity.
This "clash of religions" is one reason, many scholars believe, that there are so many proscriptions and regulations of the sex act within the three faiths of Abraham: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. In order to quash the deeply embedded beliefs and practices of the sex-as-worship Goddess religion, they had to impose harsh and rigid sanctions upon anyone who "continued in the old ways," even to the extent of the threat of eternal damnation in Hell. Hence, all of the references in the bible to the spiritual damage inflicted by the practice of fornication, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, and of course, to availing oneself of the services of "whores."
It has come to me many times over the past year and a half that there are deeper issues involved in my new job than it just being a great source of income for me. I have already mentioned that it has had a very positive effect upon me personally and in my life in general, and even some of my clients have used the term "healing"--more on that in a future post. But it's beyond that: I see that it has implications for the empowerment and continued liberation of women (see http://www.feministissues.com/existential_fem.html). And from an even more expanded point of view, this work has something to do with the return of Female/Goddess energy to the planet, so that it can balance-out the male force which has reigned for so long.
It seems to me that while there is something of a government crack-down on the escort industry these days (reference last years voluntary closing of Craigslist's adult services section under pressure from multiple states' attorneys general), the profession seems to be becoming more and more "mainstream"--and even tolerated--in many quarters. The freedom and independence and privacy afforded by the Internet, for both clients and providers, is a big part of this process, I'm sure. Time will tell which way it will go. Thanks for reading!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Please 'Follow' me!!!
Wow--after only five days, I'm getting great responses to Journal of a New Age Escort! Thanks to all of you who commented via various channels. Your support and appreciation mean a great deal to me! It would be lovely, also, if you could "Follow" the blog--that is, subscribe--by clicking the "Follow" button in the upper right hand corner. You can do so either publicly or privately. You will then be alerted to all of my new postings automatically. My next entry is coming soon. Stay tuned!!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
I Love My Job!
It may sound strange, but I believe I have the best job in the world! I may have come to this work through a certain amount of financial desperation, but after seeing my first few clients--many of whom were spiritual, "New Agey-types" like myself, I realized I had hit upon something that really clicked for me. In recent years, I have gone through many hardships, including a failed attempt in another underground business, multiple relationship disappointments--including abandonement by a partner, who promised to "marry me, take care of me," and help me buy my home. So near the end of this very bleak period, I went into a very dark place, became quite ill, and yet--in keeping with my belief in a benevolent Universe--I prayed for a way out of it all, and this new career came to me.
I had been dating on the regular, romantic boards of Craigslist and PlentyofFish, but had not found the partner I felt I still needed. These experiences did give me a certain familiarity with the on-line dating world, and after my depression, I just thought to myself, "Hmmm...maybe I'll just take a look at the adult services section." I saw many posts by women in their 20s, and I was a bit put off by this at first, but then I ran across an ad for a woman in her 40s, and clicked on her website. I thought: "If she can do it, so can I--and I won't charge as much!!!" I placed my ad, got six calls the first day, and have never looked back!
I have always been quite open-minded about the industry I'm in now, but of course I had to overcome a number of my own stereotypes regarding the "worlds' oldest profession" (I actually take issue with this designation: I think motherhood is the oldest profession, but that's a topic for another blog!) When I first contemplated this work, I imagined myself "sitting in a dark room, waiting for the perverts to arrive." This gloomy vision couldn't have been further from the truth. I find the vast majority of my clients to be warm, affectionate, healthy individuals, who need to avail themselves of my services for one reason or another. Several of them have become friends, even. Believe it or not--and this is why I felt a huge "thumbs-up" from the Universe--my very first client was an actual acquaintance!!! Remarkable, but true. I am quite well known in the community in my "other life," but after a year and a half of this work, the two worlds have never again collided. My first client is a very kind, spiritually-oriented man, and was very generous in his advice and tutoring of me as I began my new career path. Coincidence? I don't think so!!!
I hit my sexual peak a number of years ago, and have been blessed (and/or cursed) with an above-average libido ever since, which is certainly a very helpful state of affairs for this type of work. I am an attractive woman, and have been given the great good luck to possess a nice figure without having to do anything to keep it so. Many people think I am 10-15 years younger than I am, which doesn't hurt in this business, either. What is so odd is that I was having so much trouble finding a reliable partner through "normal" dating, and even though I have had several long-term relationships in my life (including marriage), these men I attracted recently behaved in a very guarded manner towards me, and seemed to feel that I "wanted" something unreasonable from them--like their soul--or something along those lines. I believe that all of those disappointments were the Universe nudging me to stretch myself--to see myself in a new light--and to completely and utterly transform my relationships with men.
Most of my clients treat me better than many of the men I dated, perhaps because of the honest, up-front, and purely transactional nature of the encounter. I never would have believed it if anyone had told me in the beginning, but this type of work really can satisfy much of the normal human need for intimacy--at least in my case. When discussing my new job with a friend, and all the frustration I experienced in the past--just over getting laid, for God's sake--he said: "Wow--you start charging for it, and everyone comes out of the woodwork!!!" I actually wish I would have become a call girl years ago, but I had to be ready for it. I have often wondered since I stared this work: "Why did I ever give it away for FREE?!!!
Almost without exception, this new career path has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me in my whole life. I will write at length in future entries how liberating, empowering, life-affirming, and yes--even healing--it has been. I hope you enjoy reading about my insights and experiences, and I encourage you to comment, if you feel so moved. Let the adventure begin!!!
I had been dating on the regular, romantic boards of Craigslist and PlentyofFish, but had not found the partner I felt I still needed. These experiences did give me a certain familiarity with the on-line dating world, and after my depression, I just thought to myself, "Hmmm...maybe I'll just take a look at the adult services section." I saw many posts by women in their 20s, and I was a bit put off by this at first, but then I ran across an ad for a woman in her 40s, and clicked on her website. I thought: "If she can do it, so can I--and I won't charge as much!!!" I placed my ad, got six calls the first day, and have never looked back!
I have always been quite open-minded about the industry I'm in now, but of course I had to overcome a number of my own stereotypes regarding the "worlds' oldest profession" (I actually take issue with this designation: I think motherhood is the oldest profession, but that's a topic for another blog!) When I first contemplated this work, I imagined myself "sitting in a dark room, waiting for the perverts to arrive." This gloomy vision couldn't have been further from the truth. I find the vast majority of my clients to be warm, affectionate, healthy individuals, who need to avail themselves of my services for one reason or another. Several of them have become friends, even. Believe it or not--and this is why I felt a huge "thumbs-up" from the Universe--my very first client was an actual acquaintance!!! Remarkable, but true. I am quite well known in the community in my "other life," but after a year and a half of this work, the two worlds have never again collided. My first client is a very kind, spiritually-oriented man, and was very generous in his advice and tutoring of me as I began my new career path. Coincidence? I don't think so!!!
I hit my sexual peak a number of years ago, and have been blessed (and/or cursed) with an above-average libido ever since, which is certainly a very helpful state of affairs for this type of work. I am an attractive woman, and have been given the great good luck to possess a nice figure without having to do anything to keep it so. Many people think I am 10-15 years younger than I am, which doesn't hurt in this business, either. What is so odd is that I was having so much trouble finding a reliable partner through "normal" dating, and even though I have had several long-term relationships in my life (including marriage), these men I attracted recently behaved in a very guarded manner towards me, and seemed to feel that I "wanted" something unreasonable from them--like their soul--or something along those lines. I believe that all of those disappointments were the Universe nudging me to stretch myself--to see myself in a new light--and to completely and utterly transform my relationships with men.
Most of my clients treat me better than many of the men I dated, perhaps because of the honest, up-front, and purely transactional nature of the encounter. I never would have believed it if anyone had told me in the beginning, but this type of work really can satisfy much of the normal human need for intimacy--at least in my case. When discussing my new job with a friend, and all the frustration I experienced in the past--just over getting laid, for God's sake--he said: "Wow--you start charging for it, and everyone comes out of the woodwork!!!" I actually wish I would have become a call girl years ago, but I had to be ready for it. I have often wondered since I stared this work: "Why did I ever give it away for FREE?!!!
Almost without exception, this new career path has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me in my whole life. I will write at length in future entries how liberating, empowering, life-affirming, and yes--even healing--it has been. I hope you enjoy reading about my insights and experiences, and I encourage you to comment, if you feel so moved. Let the adventure begin!!!
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