Saturday, July 30, 2011
Disclosure
I believe that most of my wide circle of family and friends would be understanding and supportive of my current career choice as an escort, but it's still a bit of a "nail-biter" when I tell someone new. Almost without exception, all of the ones I have told have been happy for me that I have found something that works for me and--um--pays the bills!
I have many male friends, several of whom I have revealed my "secret occupation" to, and most of them smile, shake their heads, and often remark, "Yeah--I wish I could do that!" It certainly is one of the few jobs where being female is a huge benefit. I have heard that teaching and psychotherapy may have be the only other two!
Along those lines, I did have a very attractive client last year in his mid-50s who asked me to be his agent and help him find work as a gigolo. I placed an ad for him, with beautiful color photos, and posted it in the adult services section of two large metropolitan areas, reaching millions of people. After several months, we only got one call--from a woman who was too scared to even leave a message! The poor guy--I felt so sorry for him, and I'm sure it was a huge blow to his ego--but the truth is there's just no demand for men in this business. The exception to this is if the male escort is willing to see men, and even then the guy has to be young and in excellent shape, it would seem.
I think the reason for this discrepancy between the sexes--perhaps obviously--is that any woman, no matter what her age, physical attractiveness, or sex appeal, has SO MUCH sex thrown at her much of the time, that the idea of needing to "hire" a man for this service is just ludicrous. I have browsed through the listings of the ads of other escorts, and have been surprised by the wide range in age, weight, physical fitness, etc., but obviously these girls are getting work! I have decided--and many of my clients agree with me--that perhaps 50% of this job is personality: the ability to be warm, friendly, affectionate, and to put the client at ease. I may write more about this issue in a future blog entry.
Only about three of my female friends or family know about my job, and that is for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I don't want people to worry about my safety. I will definitely address this issue in a future entry, but I am happy to say that in the 18 months I have been in this business, I have never found myself in a truly scary situation. I am blessed to live in a rather upscale, progressive community, and I am certain that escorts in other areas have to deal with the "safety" issue much more than I ever will. I am very grateful for this fact, of course, but my women friends and relatives may envision more of the older stereotypes about this work: images of street-walkers, violent pimps, drug addiction, enslavement, abuse, etc., so I just spare them all of that anxiety.
I have read other escort blogs, many of whom are authored by women who have rather more mixed feelings about the kind of work they are doing. Several seem to be very isolated because of their inability to share their "secret life" with anyone else. I know that at least one uses her blog to share her experiences in an anonymous fashion, which she says helps somewhat, but she wrote that she still feels frustrated that she can't be more honest. (Call Girl Next Door). I have found my own blog to be a wonderful outlet for me in this regard.
So you may ask, "Why do you NEED to share this with others?" I realize that the answer to this is complex. Certainly, some of my friends and acquaintances ask what I'm doing for work these days, and I often tell them that I have a "Sugar Daddy". This is a great cover story, because in some ways it's true: I just have more than one, and I don't know all of their names yet!
There are evenings when I have just finished with a delightful client and am perhaps showing some "afterglow," and my friends notice and ask me how I'm doing. "Just great!," I answer. It is frustrating to not be able to disclose just how happy I am with this lifestyle of great money, often very good sex, and even friendships that develop with clients. It is difficult to hold it all in, because in general, I am a very open person. I have had to learn to keep most of this private, which is very challenging for me at times. And often I feel like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary!
The other obvious reasons for keeping all of this secret from many of the people in my life is that I fear their judgement of me, based on moral or religious grounds. Even though most of my friends and family are fairly open-minded, I just never know how they might react, even though I am certain that they would understand the financial necessity of a high-paying gig at this particular time in my life. I mentioned this to a client, and he said: "Well--if they don't understand and support you, then they're not really a very good friend!" That may well be true, but this new path in life is quite a departure from the mostly "good girl" image I have projected for all of my life, and I think it would come as quite a shock to some of my intimates.
There is also the issue of envy. Many of my friends are really struggling right now, as are so many others in this time of economic turn-down. I certainly make more money per hour and have to work much less than most of the people I know, and some have not been able to find a job for quite a long time. I have found one female friend who is open to trying this line of work, and of course I would like to "recruit" even more of my women friends (I have more "work" than I can handle, as I may have mentioned before), but it's not something I can just casually run by someone over coffee! I have definitely felt the envy from some of my male friends. Hey guys--sorry--but for once it's great to be a woman! And I'm "recession-proof"!!!
Last night I told an older male friend (so close, he's like family), about my new profession, and he was still smiling after I finished my sentence, and it's like: "Whew!" I figured that he would be supportive, and he was. But I never know. I'd say there was only one person who reacted negatively, and that was a guy I hooked up with very briefly last year. He said some things that made me think he'd be open-minded about my job, but as it turns out, his ex-girlfriend--whom he's still in love with--has gone into this profession herself. Ooops! Sorry, dude!!!
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