The Big "O"

 

Sometimes I will meet a new client, and he only has to give me a quick hug or touch my arm, and I think, "Wow--IT may happen tonight!!!"

By "IT," of course I mean that I sense such a powerful chemistry that I am almost certain I will be able to orgasm with this man.

I have often thought to myself--and even mentioned to several clients--that I wish I could "bottle" that intangible, ineffable, almost indescribable quality we call "chemistry" between two people, because I think I would become a billionairess if I did!

Being the New Age Escort, of course I have a metaphysical explanation for this phenomenon:  The energy fields, or "auras," of the two individuals who enjoy the great chemistry between them must have some kind of "magnetic resonance."  One can also look to astrology for compatibilities between the signs, planets, and elements in the two charts.  One could also speculate on a powerful "karmic link" between these chemically-attuned folks.

I would say that I am affectionate, sensual, and passionate, in that order (and that IS the usual order of my emotion and enthusiasm as I build to orgasm).  But if the guy and I clearly have that "great chemistry" from the first moment, then often an urgency builds within me from the very beginning, and I start to anticipate--and even rush to--my own climax.

If there is one thing a woman cannot fake--or hide--it is copious vaginal lubrication!!!  It definitely varies a bit with the night and my mood, but there are several clients whom I have seen multiple times wherein "the little spring" between my legs starts bubbling away right from the get-go, and I always end up having an orgasm with these gentlemen.  These clients/lovers get the designation of "Yum-mee!!!," which is my highest rating.

"Chemistry"--that wonderful, erotic, passionate, (and, yes, rare) quality of physical (and sometimes even emotional) attraction and connection between myself and a man is certainly desirable in a client in this line of work, and is almost always a surprise.  I would say it occurs maybe 10% of the time, if even that often.  It has nothing to do with the man's age, physical attractiveness, ethnicity, or even his personality, but certainly I will feel it (and enjoy it!) much more with a guy who is open to me and comfortable with his sexuality.

I had this kind of voracious attraction (and certainly there was infatuation, as well) with my first real boyfriend/lover in high school.  I always thought that it was necessary for me to be very deeply emotionally involved to feel this kind of intensely passionate desire for a sex partner, but I have found that this is not the case for me, at least not anymore.  How gratifying to discover that I can allow myself to surrender completely to my powerful libido and enjoy this kind of intense encounter with a complete stranger, whom I will very likely never see again--??  And most of my clients seem to really appreciate the fact that I am being truly authentic--as well as "getting off"--with them!

I have written in a previous entry about how this work leads to a sort of "instant intimacy," in that it affords some sense of freedom that a normal dating experience (or even a one-night stand) does not.  It is very often the case that I will see a particular client only once.  There is certainly no pressure on my part to continue after that initial encounter, and I think a lot of men can relax more easily with me than with a woman who may "want to get more involved."  I DO NOT want to get more involved, in general, although a number of clients have become real friends and have stayed in touch with me over the years.  If the client is not a "Nervous Newbie" (or paranoid for some other reason), the immediacy and the highly limited nature of the liaison may allow him to let down his guard and revel in his own sexuality--perhaps for the first time in his life.

And that "spark" of great chemistry between myself and a client can certainly aid in this process.  That's why I once referred to this work as "Erotic Go-Fish":  I never know just what I'm going to find on the other side of the door when the client opens it to welcome me in, but sometimes it's really good (and H-O-T!!!)   ;)

Whoring at the Super-8

 

There was just something about this one particular client, at this one particular motel, which made me feel sooo deliciously wonderful about being a prostitute.  I saw him only two or three times at the same location, but the effect on my mood and attitude was always the same:  "This is what it's A-L-L about!!!"

I'm not exactly sure why he--and the local Super-8 Motel--put me in this great frame of mind regarding my career choice.  In the past 7 1/2 years of engaging in this work, it has certainly not always been the case that I felt this way.

My feelings about this highly controversial way of making a living have run the full gamut, from absolute shock and disbelief (in the beginning, and still at times even now) that I would ever consider having sex for money with total strangers, to utter dread of getting arrested or "outed" to the public, to the other extreme of feeling "so lucky" that I get to make such great money in such an (often) enjoyable way.  Talk about MIXED EMOTIONS!!!

One of the most frustrating and even depressing aspect of this work--especially regarding its positive, "fun" side--is that I cannot share my good times with everyone I know.  Most of my friends and associates are fairly open-minded and progressive, and many would understand and even find the fact of my "whoring" rather humorous, after knowing me for so long in other contexts.  People mainly see me as down-to-earth, intelligent, responsible, compassionate, a good friend, etc.  My rather exotic career would not necessarily contradict any of those attributes; in many ways, it's the fact that my personality harmonizes so well with being a high-end escort which has led to my success in this field.  But I never know how someone might react to my "disclosure," so I chose my confidants and confessors rather carefully.

As I have written previously, a number of my close friends know about my "secret career," and in general I have made good choices about whom to tell and whom not to tell.  The thing is, attitudes about prostitution run the full spectrum from acceptance to abhorrence, much as my moods have ranged and swung over the years regarding this work.  Some people (especially women) may seem to have very "modern" viewpoints about many aspects of sexuality, but when you throw in the "getting paid for it" element, there could be a hidden Puritanical streak or other bias within them which might cause them to strongly reject me or even turn against me.  So I have to be very careful.

There have been times, such as with "Mr. Super-8," when I became extremely aroused just thinking about hooking up with a client.  These instances seem to be those in which I suspended my OWN personal Puritanical streak, tenuous as it may be (I believe that as Americans, we all have a bit of one, due to upbringing and cultural influences.)  In his case, he was a bit younger than me, very attractive, and the first time I walked into the rather seedy motel room, there was an empty 6-pack of beer in the trash.  This is not particularly typical:  most of my clients are older than I am, and most are not rather buzzed when I arrive.  But he was a good guy, and treated me well, and we had a lot of fun together.  As often occurs after I have a positive meeting with a client, I walked out of the motel room and down the stairs just feeling very "high on life."  The several encounters I had with him made me feel exceptionally so:  I'm guessing that all of the elements must have been present which fit my stereotype of what "good whoring" is all about.  Ha!

I remember having a sort of "waking dream" (a precognition, perhaps??) when I was a youngster just learning about prostitution.  An older relative let me read Playboys and Penthouses, and it was on those pages that I gained some of my early sex education, however skewed in tone it may have been.  I never, ever seriously considered this line of work until I actually jumped into it just over seven years ago, but I do recall visualizing or imagining a well-paid, stylishly dressed escort confidently walking away from a high-rise building in some unknown city.  She seemed happy.  I don't know that I felt it was "me" at the time in my adolescent imagination, but I'm pretty sure now that it was a sort of prophetic vision:  There is a high-rise hotel in a nearby city which I visit once in awhile, and I did indeed once look up at the structure after having a successful session with a client, and recalled my image of the call girl from my childhood.  My mood was exactly the same as the woman's in my vision.  "Yes, that was me, after all," I concluded.  

Different Strokes

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Five Years of Fun!!!

I just recently celebrated my fifth-year anniversary in this work, and I'm still having a blast!

Here are some of the highlights and insights of my career so far (in no particular order):

~I've made more money--by far--than I have in my whole life.

~I have had no serious problems whatsoever, contrary to what I expected in the beginning of my escort career.

~I have met many wonderful gentlemen, some of whom have become friends.

~I have learned (however unexpectedly) to get much of my need for intimacy and even relationship fulfilled through this work.

~The age range of my clients is from 19 to 88 years old!

~Providing this service to men has opened up my mind to the possibilities of many different forms of romantic relationships.

~I have become much more tolerant and much less judgmental towards men and their behavior in general.

~I have come to believe that although we are evolutionarily and genetically designed for monogamy, we are definitely somewhat designed for infidelity, as well.

~I don't know that I can ever go back to standard monogamy, after this experience.

~I have learned that I am a pretty good businesswoman, and quite the entrepreneur!

~I have found that using condoms "religiously" really, really does prevent disease (I have had none, and I do get checked regularly.)

~"Servicing" men in this way is in reality something of a public service.  I believe I have SAVED several marriages through this work!.

The Professional Mistress

     ATTENTION ALL WIVES (and I say this to you as a public service): If your husband is NOT getting regular sex from YOU, he is probably getting it from someone like ME--or worse--he is having an AFFAIR with a woman with whom he is emotionally involved. One of my male friends who knows what I do for work told me this joke recently: Two women are seated in the audience of their friends' wedding. As the beautiful couple walks down the aisle, one woman turns to the other and says, "That's the LAST blow job he'll ever get!" This is humorous to me, because I hear the same story over and over again from my clients: "My wife doesn't like to give oral." "I haven't had a BJ in over 20 years." If I could give one--and ONLY one--piece of advice to wives or girlfriends who are concerned that their man might "stray": LEARN TO GIVE REGULAR ORAL PLEASURE to your male partner, even if it's not your favorite activity.
      Some women love to give head from early on in their sexual careers, but I myself did not enjoy it until I was in my thirties. I had a couple of unpleasant experiences with boyfriends in high school which left me with a "bad taste" in my mouth (pun intended). Let's just say that cleanliness of the private parts is not a major priority for teenage boys who are trying to sneak around behind their parents' backs and get their freak on! Thankfully, I had a long-term boyfriend later in life who really enjoyed oral pleasure and who showed me what a turn-on it could be for me to give it, and--most importantly--I could make him take a shower first. Ha!
     Concerning the issue of whether or not men are "getting enough" from their regular partners: Make no mistake--there are certainly many true philanderers out there who have plenty of sex with their wives or girlfriends--but still want "something on the side." Some men even seem to think of it as an entitlement, as in, "Well, I'm a successful, important man...I DESERVE a mistress!" I believe this is a major part of the "hobbyist mentality" which the escorts discuss from time to time on the forums. I have mixed feelings about this part of the job, but I still think it's far better that a man with a steady partner comes to see me rather than seeking out an affair just to get this "extra" sex. Because I want no involvement with him beyond the client/provider relationship, I cause no trouble for him and his significant other.
     Apart from the physical issues inherent in the role of the "other woman for hire," being a mistress is an extremely intimate and unique liasion. Even for an escort like me--who may see a man one time only--there are often feelings and confidences shared which are much like those exchanged between lovers in an ongoing, illicit affair. Someone once said that hairdressers often become de facto confessors and even shrinks for their clients, perhaps because of the physical intimacy involved in cutting and styling someone's hair: They contact a part of the client's body--the hair and head--which normally only loved ones or other family members touch. I have wondered if perhaps this is one of the (probably many) reasons why some clients open up to me about extremely personal issues. There is a kind of "instant intimacy" which occurs when I get naked and jump into bed with a complete stranger. A lot of the normal social barriers are automatically and suddenly shattered in this configuration, and I often find myself opening up to clients, as well. We are engaged in an inherently personal and private activity, so perhaps we feel...What's left to hide? I'm sure the fact that we are somewhat anonymous and may never meet again also makes it easier to "bare our souls" to one another.
      I have discussed the therapeutic element of this work in my previous entry, "Sexual Healing," and I will probably return to this subject again and again. I don't think it can be overstated what an important function we perform as escorts, just by being willing to interact intimately with our clients, the sexual/pleasure dimension notwithstanding. I believe that some men think that this is the only thing they want from us--to "get their rocks off," etc.--but I feel certain that many people in this world are just starving for basic interaction with another human being, including being listended to, touched, and held. Sexual pleasure and release are certainly important, but I feel that perhaps some men contact us for these services, and it is more of an excuse when the real need is to reach out to and connect with another human being. I've had several clients say as much.
     So I am constantly awakening to subtler and deeper dimensions of this work. There is something very special for some of my clients about the privacy afforded by having a "secret friend," even if just for one night. Just as in an ongoing affair wherein the man is married, I often hear all about the wife--both positive and negative--but of course, she never hears about me. There is actually a great deal of trust invested in me as a complete stranger, and I take my role as confidante and confessor quite seriously. I'm not sure where this feeling comes from, but--at least for me--there is a SACRED element inherent in this position of "The Keeper of Secrets." I feel honored that some of my clients entrust me with such private details of their personal lives.
      I recently watched the movie Women In Love, based on D.H. Lawrence's novel of the same name. At one point, the characters discuss how one of the women is totally cut-out to be a wife, and how the other is a "natural mistress." Well, I have been both roles in my life, and at this point, I suppose I am in my "mistress phase." I thoroughly enjoy the freedom to come and go as I please which the escort lifestyle affords me. And as I've previously mentioned, the financial element is truly gratifying, and I don't even work all that much. Surprisingly, I do get many of my needs for physical and emotional intimacy met through the job, and I also have many dear friends who are really the core of my life. So...once again...I'm amazed at the richness and complexity of experience which I find in this work, and how everything in my life leading up to this career has totally prepared me for it. Let the adventure continue!!!

Risen Woman

"Dear Rachel, Thank you many fold times, I enjoyed speaking in person voice to voice, and now I have admired the integrity, authenticity and honesty You express your feelings, thought, and mind, soul. (blogs) Blessings to you for being so loving and nurturing, compassionate and understanding, and expressing so eloquently. Thank you so much. I am really looking forward to meeting you, and sharing the nurturing/ blessing / healing goddess that you have awakened and embodied, realized. Blessings Blessings Blessings" (That was an e-mail from a prospective client, sent after we spoke by phone, and after he had read all of my previous blog entries.)      I have written somewhat in previous chapters of this blog about the enormously gratifying self-esteem "boost" I experience through this job, and it still continues to amaze me to this day.  I am very aware that not all sex workers feel the same, although I wish they could each feel as good about their chosen career path as I do.      The title of this entry, "Risen Woman," of course refers to the concept of a "fallen woman"--a term which may go all the way back to biblical times and before--and indeed is probably still seen as one of the worst categories which can be ascribed to a female, even to this very day.  I choose this twist-on-words, so to speak, to highlight the extreme opposite effect which this supposedly lower-than-low career actually has on me.      We all know that when people want to make a point about how much they "hate their jobs," or are "only doing it for the money," they will often make statements such as "Oh, I'm just prostituting myself," or, "I'm just a whore for the money, " etc.  These comments indicate that the person making them obviously does not believe that a prostitute DOES or actually even COULD enjoy her profession, as if performing sex acts and pleasuring others for pay is inherently and unequivocally a loathsome and disgusting occupation.  I beg to differ, and I also say, "Don't knock it 'till you've tried it!!!"      It seems that these sorts of negative images of prostitution are a symptom of an even deeper illness in our society:  that is, we live in a "sex-negative" culture.  The power of images and innuendo of human sexuality may be used to sell everything from automobiles to laundry soap, but I have always believed that this is because many of us were taught from a young age--either overtly or covertly--that sex is "dirty," and so it becomes a repressed urge, even as it becomes that much stronger.  Madison Avenue plays on this perversion of a normal, human function only to enriches itself.  Unfortunately, this country was founded by a Puritan offshoot of Christianity which was fleeing oppression in its former England.  How ironic is it, then, that repression may be the very first word which comes to mind when we hear the term "puritanical," even though these people were seen as mavericks and revolutionaries in their own time.          I, myself, also had these sorts of stereotypes about prostitution being a "dark, depressing, lowly endeavor" running around in my head when I first embarked on this path.  These began to quickly dissolve when I met my early clients and found them to be for the most part very normal, respectful gentlemen--who also often wanted to please me--as I've mentioned in previous entries.  But I am no fool:  I realize that there is a huge spectrum of work and life conditions related to the whole field of sex-for-money, and that some women in this line of work are indeed taken advantage of, held against their will, abused, etc.  This is why I believe "de-crim"--the decriminalization of sex work--needs to become a reality in the U.S., as it is in so many other parts of the world.  This choice of lifestyle and profession--which can be ideal for many women--could be made so much safer for everyone involved if it wasn't illegal.  More on this in a future blog entry.      There are still moments (even today, after almost 3 1/2 years in the business) when I am rushing off to meet a new client, and some thought goes off in my head such as, "What the hell am I doing?  Why am I in this crazy business, anyway?!!" I tell the thought something like this: "Thank you for sharing--now SHUT UP!!!," and it usually goes away.  If it doesn't, then I resort to the ever-effective, "Don't think about it--just DO IT!!!"  That one works every time to calm my nerves.  Then as so often happens--just like on a recent evening--I had an absolutely fabulous time with a complete stranger, and relaxed into a "I-must-have-gone-to-heaven" mood all the rest of the night.  This is the strange dichotomy of emotions which emerged for me--especially in the early days of this job--and I see this as an outcome of the very deeply-ingrained stereotypes of "sex for money is wrong;" "I should feel bad about doing this," etc.  Thankfully, these episodes of self-doubt happen less and less as time goes on, as I am able to more and more fully integrate this work with the person I am and always have been. I just found an article in an escort chat room, which I will excerpt below.  It is actually written by a man for men who might consider approaching an escort (or any other "professionally beautiful woman," as the author whimsically terms us) in order to date or hook-up.  It is eye-opening for me, as the writer points out the very important ways in which we are quite different from mainstream, "civilian women." "These professional women are just like any other girl you’re likely to meet, except for two major differences: 1. They have no “reputation” to protect. (They have no fears of being labeled as “easy” or condemned as “a slut”.) 2. They know they can generate their security for themselves, so they can afford to date whomever they please, rather than relying on finding a man to support them to guarantee their security." (he continues)"...porn stars, escorts, models, and exotic dancers fall into the category of 'professionally beautiful girls' and tend to have a different attitude: they already have all the validation they need, not only based on their looks, so 'negging' [making negative remarks to the woman] falls on deaf ears, as do banal compliments."  (Italics mine.) The author of this article states something here which has been taking shape in my mind and heart as an unformed entity, and he crystallizes it beautifully:  There is something about this work (if one has a positive attitude towards the job, and is comfortable in it) which can transform the prostitute's view of herself as a sexual being in a very deep and profound way. He goes on to write that women in this industry find themselves outside the usual pressures of sexual politics and economics which most women are subject to.  I notice that I have become much less worried about my attractiveness, and also about "finding a man" to take care of me, etc.  I have all the validation I need, as well as the ability to support myself financially.  I don't have to play games with the male friends and acquaintances in my life, and I don't care what they think of me in sexual terms.  (Fortunately, many of my friends--both male and female--know what I do for a living, and are very supportive.  They also appreciate the funny and often heart-warming stories I tell of the adventures with my clients.) I HAVE noticed a major shift in myself as I watch my friends go through their normal relationship "dramas."  Someone suggested that I might be a bit "jaded;" I disagree.  I feel that I am ABOVE THE FRAY.  It's as if I would say, "Yes--I remember all of those things, and I am just so grateful that, at least for now, I'm not a part of that milieu."  Of course there are escorts who have boyfriends or husbands--but I am coming from a different perspective after having been in this business for several years.  I am no longer emotionally needy.  I am deeply happy within myself--for perhaps the first time in my life--and I believe that all of the wonderful interactions with my clients have greatly contributed to that happiness.  A new confidence has emerged, and that is a major component of a healthy self-esteem. When I first discovered the escort chat rooms, and began reading the comments and stories of the other sex workers, at some point, it just hit me over the head:  "ALL OF THESE LADIES ON HERE...THEY'RE ALL E-M-A-N-C-I-P-A-T-E-D WOMEN!!!"  For those who are independent contractors, like myself--and for those who are reasonably happy in this work--the combination of a great income PLUS the appreciation (and even adoration) of multiple male lovers can have an incredibly empowering, liberating, and uplifting effect on a woman's psyche. The question is often posed, "But would you want your OWN DAUGHTER to do this work?!!"  Well--to be fair, I do not have any children--but there are young women in my extended family who are very dear to me.  But I would have to say, "YES--ARE YOU KIDDING?!!"  In what other profession can a woman work 5 hours a week and make $50k a year?  If I were training a young woman in this work, I would certainly teach her all I know, and advise her to be as safe as possible, giving her the full benefit of my own experience.  There are risks, of course, but I believe them to be manageable. In closing, I would like to say that the impression which has been arising in me for some time now is this:  I believe that EVERY woman--if she has the opportunity--should do this work at some point in her life--even if it's only for a short period--just for the empowering experience of it all.  This statement may be highly controversial, but I actually believe that the expanded perspective and enhanced esteem this profession can engender--if engaged in properly--is completely worth the effort, and can be achieved by no other means.  Many women fantasize about being an "Upscale Call Girl;" I totally understand why now.  Beyond the apparent glamor of being a "professionally beautiful woman," there is an amazing opportunity for personal growth along sexual, self-image, and economic lines. I feel so fortunate that I GET TO LIVE THE FANTASY!!!

Health & Safety

I have only been in this business for about 2 1/2 years, so I certainly cannot say that I am a veteran by any means, but I do have some experience.  "Health & Safety" issues were the concerns which gave me the most trepidation when I first considered doing this work.  I cannot speak for all of the ladies in all situations, but for me, at least, it has been much less scary, and seems less dangerous than I might have originally imagined.      The top three concerns (in order of importance, for me, at least):                           ~   PHYSICAL SAFETY                           ~   LEGAL ISSUES                           ~   STDS       The last two issues--legal and disease--are perhaps almost a tie for 2nd place in my mind.  They are both serious concerns (and rightly so), but certainly not as much as the issue of my physical well-being.  I will discuss them a bit later on.      PHYSICAL SAFETY:  The first thing I did when I contemplated my "new career" as an escort was to contact someone who is very close to me and ask her if she would be my "security check-in," that is:  Would she be willing to receive my texts with the information about where I was going and with whom I was spending time?  She was and always has been resoundingly supportive of me in all areas of my life, and so it was no different in this case.  I immediately felt much better about the prospect of this very new and and somewhat frightening enterprise, knowing that she would be "watching over me," so to speak.  It certainly gave me a modicum of peace of mind.      I believe that it is critical that someone play this role for an independent escort like myself.  It could be a "cool relative," a good friend, or another provider (with whom one might trade the favor).  But I think it's important--for so many obvious reasons--that someone knows where I am and with whom at all times.      My "S.C."--"Security Check-in"--and I have it set up that I text her my proposed whereabouts (since I am almost exclusively an "Outcall only" escort) a few minutes before I leave for my appointment.  If I know that it is going to be a long session (I don't always know ahead of time), I give her the approximate length.  She texts me back that she has received the info.  When I am finished with the appointment, I text her an "all clear" signal, and she then erases everything from her cell phone.  We have agreed that if I do not contact her within some reasonable amount of time (such as 24 hrs.), then she starts to investigate.  We want to allow for phone problems and other snafus so that she doesn't overreact.  In the past 2 1/2 years, I have forgotten to send the "all clear" only one time--and she was ALL OVER MY CASE!!!  So the system works well for us.       I usually do the check-in only the first time I see a client; once I know they are legitimate and harmless, then I don't continue to send the info. if I see them again in the future.  I will often tell a new client that "someone knows where I am," and that I have to check in with my S.C. at a certain point so that she knows I'm ok, etc.  This also sends a clear signal that I take my personal safety very seriously, and the client is on notice that he should also.  In all the time I've been doing this, I've only felt mildly unsafe with one aggressive client.  I wrote about him in a previous blog entry.  I've had worse "regular dates."  Almost every client has been friendly, cooperative, respectful, and just really normal. This is a blessing, a surprise, and a HUGE relief!      I realize that having my S.C. perform this function for me alleviates the need that some women might have for a pimp, a driver, or an agency.  I am very fortunate to live and work in an upscale, relatively low-crime area, so I don't have the need for "protection" that women working in other environments might have.  There are obviously many other issues involved with physical safety; I may write more on this topic in a future blog entry.  I  do see that every provider has to find her own way to make it as safe as possible for her to do this work.      Our hourly rate obviously reflects the risks we take.  On a lighter note, I sometimes describe myself as being "like a stunt woman...an erotic stunt woman!!!"  :)      LEGAL ISSUES:  When I first contemplated placing an advertisement as an escort, I did a whopping four hours of research on the business and legal aspects of this work.  I've already written about how I got the ideas for my post (which I have never altered in 2 1/2 years--except for my age--by the way) in my first entry, "I Love My Job."  Of course, my clients are only paying for my time, and anything that happens within the appointment is between consenting adults, but some people might construe this as a form of prostitution.  So I looked up the laws in my state, and it is considered a misdemeanor for "disorderly conduct."  I told one friend about this law, and he said, "What?!!  There's nothing DISORDERLY about it!!!"  Certainly not the way I do it, which is to conduct myself just as any other businesswoman would.      I have read in some of the escort forums that providers do get busted sometimes, and it would of course be a huge hassle if that were to happen to me.  In my state, the penalties are not very severe, and I probably wouldn't do any jail time.  Several of the women were merely ticketed and released after they were arrested.  Many of them wrote about how they fought sometimes for years in court to have the charges dropped, and how they eventually won, but not until after a long struggle.  Of course, I am whole-heartedly in favor of decriminalization of the whole field of sex work.  That is probably a subject for a whole blog entry in itself.      As far as protecting myself from any legal problems, I don't discuss any explicit subjects, and I make it very clear that the client is "paying for my time ONLY."  I have read on the forums that some women are busted just for showing up at an appointment with money in their pockets and condoms on their person; this is obviously police harassment.  I was told by an early client that there is very little prosecution in my area, and from what I've seen in 2 1/2 years, this seems to be true.  I know that some kind of legal confrontation is always a possibility, however.  I just hope that the police have better things to do!      Sometimes a new client will tell me that he is afraid that I may be "L.E." (law enforcement.)  I actually appreciate it when a newbie client is a bit paranoid, as it is very unlikely that he will be dangerous to me in any way.  I had one client coming in from another state who started to have a panic attack on the plane before he arrived.  He had already made the appointment with me, we had already talked on the phone, and we were set to meet that evening.  Through his hyperventilation, he managed to blurt out:  "How do I know YOU'RE not a cop?!!  How do you know I'M not a cop?!!"  I said:  "Sweetheart--RELAX--we're just gonna HANG OUT!!!"  Once he met me in person, he was ok, but I definitely had to "talk him down" there for awhile!!!      SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES:  Due to cultural stereotypes (aren't they almost always W-R-O-N-G?), I assumed that being in this line of work, wherein I have a lot of intimate contact with others, would lead me to almost certainly contract an STD at some point, if I stayed in the business long enough.  I have to say that, based on my own experience, and the writings of the other women on the escort forums, this certainly may NOT be the case at all.  For sure--there is greater risk for providers in this industry just due to the sheer numbers of partners alone--but I believe that if an escort is disciplined about her condom use and other safer-sex practices, she may be able to work for many years without having a problem.      I also believe that women in this industry are more well-informed about STDs in general, because it is part of their job to educate themselves and make things as safe for themselves and their clients as possible (at least, ideally, this is the case).  I think that many women get "talked out of" using a condom in regular dating because they're "in love with a guy," etc.  Men can be very persuasive along these lines, even for a "condom Nazi" like me.  More on this below.         The most dangerous sexual practices, according to the San Francisco clinic (http://forum.myredbook.com/cgi-bin/alink.pl?ab=http://www.sfcityclinic.org/stdbasics/stdchart.asp) are uncovered (that is, "without a condom") vaginal or anal intercourse.  Although most sex workers state that they do not engage in unprotected intercourse with their clients, there is much debate on the forums between the providers about where they set their boundaries, and what they are willing and not willing to do with their clients physically, and at times the interchanges become rather heated.  These are very personal issues, and--again--each sex worker must decide what works best for her.      The two main incurable STDs are HIV and herpes II (genital herpes--"H2"), and I also found out recently that syphilis in advanced stages is perhaps also incurable, but this disease is relatively rare these days.  Chlamydia and gonorrhea are both treatable;  HIV is very rare in the area in which I live, so that leaves H2 as the remaining bugaboo that people are concerned about in my neighborhood.  H2 is also of greater concern because it can occur on the body outside of a condom's protection, even though condoms do afford a good amount of protection from the disease.      Up to 20% of the U.S. population tests positive for the H2 virus, and women seem to be more susceptible to it than men, perhaps  becuase of the greater amount of mucous membrane in the genital area.  I have become something of a "herpes expert," after having a couple of close calls with two different men who tested positive for the virus after I had been intimate with them.  One was a non-client, "regular" guy I was dating, by whom I (VERY stupidly) got talked into having unprotected sex--NEVER AGAIN, BY THE WAY!!!  The other was a regular client early on in my career with whom I had always used a condom, but who wanted to get a "package deal" with me for bareback (no condom) services in the future, and so we both got tested.  Ooops--he had NO symptoms (very common with H2), but he tested dirty nonetheless.  So I "cut him off"--figuratively speaking, of course--no reason to take any chances!!!      Both of these men said:  "I've had a vasectomy, I don't have any diseases, and I don't want to use a condom."  If I EVER hear that from a man again, I'm going to conclude: "That's the HERPES TALKIN'!!!"  Those little viruses really want to replicate themselves.  And these guys wonder how they got infected in the first place!      These are big subjects here, and there is much more to say on each of them, but I think that is enough for now.  I remember a poster at Planned Parenthood many years ago (I will post it here if I can find it) of a cartoon man and a woman running towards each other with arms outstretched.  It read:  "LOVE CAREFULLY!!!"  I think that slogan pretty much sums up my sentiment on the subject.